i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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