the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
