im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize