How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dating After Heartbreak
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.