Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize