ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch