just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones