Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist