He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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