dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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