I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
