You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
