problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
