I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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