I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
