i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
