i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
