That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
