the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
