He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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