I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
