actually, I'm a sock model
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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