You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
