This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I intend to get homeless drunk
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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