Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions