My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.