Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.