I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?