you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
