he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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