You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
