just come out here and I will go home with you...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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