This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
