john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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