Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.