The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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