That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?