I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.