How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
