You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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