To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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