Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
