Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
