Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
