New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
