My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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