Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
