loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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