These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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