Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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