You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
