Walk of Shame. In a state park.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
im on a boat
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