Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
