So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
