Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
