Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
