i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
