Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
