I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
