Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
