I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
