So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
