Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
