She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
