so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am midnight drunk by noon
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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