Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
