Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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