We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
