when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
