I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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