Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
