Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
