If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
